Monday, October 15, 2007
Sometimes James feels he is the woman in their relationship.
Lily has been sitting on James’ bed of the Seventh Years dormitory for exactly twenty three minutes, waiting for him to get ready for their date to Hogsmeade. James, at this precise moment in time, is trying on trousers… many, many trousers. Why James is trying on different trousers Lily cannot comprehend. For some reason he is undecided on what to wear. Lily has never met a boy so undecided about trousers in her entire life.
“Are these okay?” He moves up to her, rearward, modelling his backside. Lily stares at him, from head to literal bottom, slowly nodding.
“Yeah, you’re right,” James answers her thirty seconds of silence, before unzipping the jeans and kicking them off, in no shame that his boxers are plainly on show. At once he searches for another pair. There’s no embarrassment in changing in front of Lily; they’re so comfortable with one another there is no awkwardness in the air, despite the fact that James has his trousers down in front of a girl. This almost scares Lily, in a good way; it’s like they’re already married.
“How about these?”
Lily looks up from swinging her feet on the edge of the bed and finds James is now modelling a new pair of trousers. They look exactly the same as the previous pair; same colour and same number of pockets, but Lily humours him by not pointing this out. “They’re lovely, James,” she tells him, though she can’t see his head because he’s positioning his bottom in her face once more, so instead she tells said bottom. She’s almost inclined to touch it, but stops herself.
“Does my bum look alright?” he questions.
Lily blinks, several times. “Yes,” she tries to push the absurdity of this conversation aside as exchanges with this particular boy always pass off as peculiar (he is a Marauder, after all), “Yes, your bum looks fine,” she assures him.
“Are you sure?”
She continues to stare at the bottom positioned in front of her face. “Yes, it’s a wonderful bottom, James.” She stops her head from cocking to one side and takes her gaze off James’ backside before it puts her under some buttocks spell.
His voice turns quite smug in response, “Really?”
“Yes. Squeezable, round, plump; however you would like to describe it,” she chimes humorously.
“Do you think...” He pauses for a moment, and Lily urges him to carry on. “Do you think they make my arse look big?”
Lily stares at him with wide eyes and James realizes the strangely feminine question he has just asked – a question Lily hasn’t even asked James herself. Inappropriate is the word that flashes mutually before their minds.
“Erm…” James turns an adorable pink and mumbles, “We can go now.”
Pulling Lily to her feet, they hurry out of the dorm before any more femininity attacks him, James ignoring Lily’s mentioning of his bare feett, toes coated with bright pink nail varnish (Padfoot painted them in his sleep for a laugh again).
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“Your lips look dry.”
It’s this statement from Lily that makes James look up at her strangely from studying in the library. He finishes off the loop of the letter he is writing and asks Lily, “What?” while parting his mouth a little in confusion.
“Your lips,” Lily says again, pointing to his mouth. “They look dry.”
James raises his brow roguishly. “Too much kissing,” he suggests the explanation, grinning.
“Kissing what, a plunger?”
“A poo-lun-what?”
Lily gives up immediately. By now she should have learnt to never make a joke involving something Muggle related.
“Never mind,” she says, as James scratches his head. Lily digs in her school bag and produces some lip balm. “Here.” She hands him the small pot, hoping to both help and distract him from the Muggle appliance of a plunger. “Put that on your lips.”
James examines the small pot tentatively in between thumb and forefinger. With narrowed eyes, he brings the small pot to his mouth without even opening it first.
“Oh Merlin, James you need to open it first—”
“I’m kidding.” He smirks and opens up the small pot while Lily pretends to look offended for being tricked. She can't help but be worried James may possibly be experienced in putting on lip balm. After applying a thick layer of it on his mouth, so much it looks greasy, he pauses in realization in what he has just done.
“This is the equivalent of me putting on make-up, isn’t it?” he says worrisomely.
“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” Lily leans in, looking thoroughly amused.
“EVERYONE, PRONGS IS PUTTING ON LIPSTICK!”
Sadly, Sirius makes an appropriate arrival into the library (his first library visit in seven years, James notes in annoyance).
James also notes this as the second feminine moment of the week in an imaginary tally in his head.
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The next day, he rakes a hand through his hair in front of the mirror of the boys’ dormitory, clearly unsatisfied. His hair is doing ‘mental things’, not appearing the way he wants it (swoon-worthy). No spell or wizard product will sort it out. It is official: James Potter is having a bad hair day.
“Prongs,” Sirius pops his head into the boys’ dormitory because he is too lazy to check James’ well being by stepping fully inside the room, “I’ve been waiting for you in common room for more than half an hour, you stupid tit. Are you coming for breakfast or what?”
“Wait,” James tells him absently. “My hair.” He prods a particular bit that looks askew and groans in frustration when it doesn’t do what it’s told. “It’s doing mental things.”
Sirius can’t control the amusement flickering across his face. “You… you’ve been in here doing your hair all this time?”
James snaps his head from the mirror to glower at Sirius. “Yes,” he snaps.
Sirius barks a familiar laugh like the dog he is. “Women,” he declares, before slamming the door shut, his laughter echoing down the staircase.
James marks down the third line in the imaginary tally in his head.
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It’s half way through the cereal that Lily is eating at breakfast when James points out to her, “Your shirt collar is on the wonk.”
“Hmm?” she replies, about to spoonful some cereal into her mouth when James suddenly tugs her forward and she makes a small yelp, nearly landing her elbows into her bowl. In one swift movement, James pushes down her collar so it’s neat and tidy; his actions appearing oddly like a housewife. Once satisfied, he releases his girlfriend.
The entire group sitting around him, including the startled redhead and the rest of the Marauders, stare bizarrely at him. It doesn’t take long for James to realize the full magnitude of what he’s done.
“James is a lady,” Sirius explains simply, through a mouthful of toast.
A fourth line is made on the imaginary tally.
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“I’ve been having stomach cramps all day,” James complains in Transfiguration.
A fifth line is made.
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“James… your ‘manly chest’ seems to be… protruding more than usual,” Sirius tells him with a deadpan expression.
A sixth.
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“James, have you seen my Witches Weekly magazine?” Lily asks him, entering his dorm.
“Nope.”
“Are you sure? I think I left it here.”
“No. Sorry,” James looks apologetically at her – much too overwhelmingly apologetic to be natural sympathy.
Lily sighs in disappointment and tells him she’ll be back soon after searching for the reading material in her own dorm.
James stares hard at the magazine that is creeping from under his pillow.
A seventh line is made, with much screaming in his head afterwards.
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The feminine characteristics have been happening for at least a week now.
“C-c-c-c-c-c-c….”
James cannot even say the word ‘cold’ at this moment (or was the word ‘cod’? He can’t remember). He stands with Lily beside the Great Lake, admiring the scenery of puffy grey clouds of such a miserable day, reflecting his dejected mood (one can only imagine being a male and acting like a female isn’t pleasant – unless one prefers the new adopted characteristics). Walks in Hogwarts Grounds are the only ways the couple can get real privacy without someone complaining about public displays of affection, except James is currently turning blue, Lily notices, like azure threw up on him.
“Um…” She glances at James in the corner of her eye and worries about the colour he is turning, along with his chattering teeth that are ruining his pearly whites she’s always admired in secret. “Are you okay?”
“I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I….” James cannot even speak full sentences. With a gasp for breath, he mumbles, “I’m fine,” despite the fact that he feels his below parts are frozen. Stupid pillock, he tells himself, should have brought my robe. He rubs his arms so fiercely in attempt of warmth he causes scram marks to his skin.
Heaving a sigh, Lily takes off her robe, much to James’ horror. “Here,” she says softly, handing him the jacket. James refuses the jacket. He shakes his head stubbornly, his teeth still chattering from the cold air.
“Stop being noble,” Lily tells him, worried. He looks close on death. “James, for goodness sake.” She grabs his arm and tugs him towards her before he can escape. With no more arguments, Lily drapes the robe over his shoulders, while James studies her with a sort of pleased disturbance.
“What about you?” he asks her, as she is now the one left robe-less.
“I’m robust,” Lily tells him proudly. She doesn’t look a stretch on cold at all, James notices with amazement. Evans women are stronger than they look. “Ill manage, you silly woman-”
He flinches. “Will you stop?” he snaps a little.
“What?” Lily looks at him with amused bemusement.
“Serious ego bruising,” James frowns, and Lily’s tries to keep pokerfaced as she realizes he is talking in a solemn tone. “I feel like I’m the girl in this relationship; it’s bloody embarrassing.” He rubs his forehead in shame.
Lily can’t help but let a smile tug at her lips. “Did you know,” she hooks her arms around his neck, “all men are sort of half woman anyway because of the ‘X’ chromosome you have?”
“No, I didn’t know that, but thanks for informing that it’s scientifically proven I am half a woman, and so is fellow man.”
“My pleasure,” Lily replies, admiring his surly pout. “Anyway, I think your feminine behaviour is rather endearing—”
“Lily, I stole your girly magazine! It’s not endearing, it’s plain loony.”
Her arms fall from his shoulders. “You stole my magazine?”
“Yes!” James cries, looking the peak of insanity. “I was reading the article on exercises to getting a firmer bottom.”
“I thought we discussed this already, James, your bottom is fine.”
“I know, but sometimes when I’m walking I wonder if my bottom is making ripples in the air—”
“I love you,” Lily interrupts him with a murmur in his ear, and he immediately shuts up. Lily has told him this statement plenty of times, but James likes it when she tells him she loves him in that whisper of hers, the one that makes him shiver pleasurably. “I love you, your little paranoia about your delectable bum—”
“Squeezable, it is,” James adds.
“—and I love all the little slightly feminine habits you comprise.” She looks up at him with a small smirk. “Just don’t grow bigger bosoms than me or anything,” she warns him mischievously.
“Har har,” James says, before swooping down to kiss her. They get so carried away that they nearly stumble and fall into the Great Lake.
“Padfoot,” a bored Remus calls Sirius’ name from behind the bush they are spying James and Lily, on the other side of Hogwarts Grounds. “When are we going to tell Prongs we put that Womanly Curse on him?”
“Two more weeks, I swear,” Sirius promises, a pair of impressive binoculars held to his eyes, “I’ll stop the spell when he gets the menstruation.” Remus shoots him a repulsed look at this.
A distance shout by the lake makes them both nearly tumble into the bush and land a branch in Remus’ eye.
“AAARGH, MY CROTCH IS BLEEDING!”
“Too late,” Sirius guffaws.
Remus sighs in turn. “We’re going to go to hell for this.”
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okay, that was just a little long, wasn't it? it was the first james/lily drabble is "cameo images". lovely. simply lovely.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2987633/1/Cameo_imageswhahaha. you have to go read!
9:56 PM endurance, risk and love
